Open Letter to the Medical Field

To the ones who took an oath to do no harm —

This week, someone I know — whose name I’ll protect out of respect — collapsed on a Sunday.
By Tuesday, they were told they have stage 4 brain cancer.

Before that? They were told it was menopause.
Over and over again.
They went to their doctor repeatedly — exhausted, frightened, confused — only to be dismissed, minimized, and left to navigate their symptoms alone.
They began to pull away from life.
They isolated.
Because when the people trained to help you tell you it’s “just hormones,” “just anxiety,” or “just aging,” you start to believe maybe you’re the problem.
You stop fighting for answers.

But it wasn’t menopause.
It was cancer.

And this story isn’t rare — it’s just quieter than it should be.

This is what happens when systems teach people — especially women — to be silent about their pain.
When we go to the doctor, we’re often met with assumptions before assessment.
We’re told we’re tired because we’re moms.
We’re anxious because we’re emotional.
We’re dizzy because we stood too fast.
We’re in pain because we “just need to rest.”

But what happens when the body is screaming, and no one listens?

For those with Chiari Malformation, it takes an average of five years to get a proper diagnosis.
Five years of being told it’s in your head — except it literally is.
Five years of being handed antidepressants instead of MRIs.
Five years of being gaslit by a system that claims to protect you.

This is not medicine.
This is neglect.

To every doctor, nurse, specialist, and medical professional reading this —
You took an oath.
To do no harm.

Dismissing symptoms is harm.
Delaying testing is harm.
Labeling women as “hormonal” instead of hearing them is harm.
Gaslighting patients into doubting their own pain — that is psychological harm.

You hold power.
And with power comes responsibility.
The kind that doesn’t disappear when a patient walks out your door.

To everyone reading this — I’m not here to burn bridges.
I’m here to build boundaries.
I’m here to teach people how to turn the conversation back on the system that was supposed to protect them.
To remind you that you have rights —
To be heard.
To ask for tests.
To demand second opinions.
To refuse dismissal.

We can’t keep losing lives because someone thought “it’s probably just stress.”
We can’t keep watching people collapse on Sundays and get their diagnosis on Tuesdays.
We deserve better.

And if the medical system won’t hold itself accountable — we will.

Signed,
A mother. A patient. A teacher. A survivor.
For every person still searching for answers.